How to Handle a Breakup and Come Out a Winner
by John

As I mentioned in another posting, this all started after I read a very bad blog on how to handle a breakup. The poor idiot that wrote that blog entry probably will never realize that it was that pansy attitude towards women that got him dumped in the first place. Having felt dumber for reading that, and seeing the number of Diggs it had, I had a genuine fear that stupidity was growing exponentially and I felt like I owed it to the average guys of the world to set the record straight. So, I posted in the comments my breakup advice and a few guys asked me if I had a blog...and a few even wrote with some questions of their own that I'll write about in coming postings.

But for now, some quick advice on how a guy should handle a breakup. Having been there myself countless times, it's never pleasant and I'll never bullshit you. But I will tell you how to get out of your funk, get off emotional holiday, and how to get back out there and find your next ex-girlfriend. goes.

If you're the dumpee...

  • Go and get laid as quickly as possible. Nothing restores confidence faster and gets you back in the game--and trust me, the key to EVERYTHING is confidence. And NOTHING is quicker than a quick internet lay--and I have you covered on this one. Check out my article, How to Succeed at Internet Dating. An "emotional holiday" only dulls your skills--getting right back out there keeps them sharp. Unless you're pretty and every chick in town wants to bone you, the brooding period doesn't mean you're sensitive--it means you're a pussy. You'll have to move to get laid again and it won't happen while you're sitting at home pining and brooding like some over-sensitive douche.
  • Don't think you're going to get her back. If you think that you won't, you may actually have a shot. And even then, you MUST grudge eff her and let everyone know she came crawling back to you. THEN, every chick in town will want a piece. Getting laid will be the easy part after that. Only you can screw it up at this point by acting too desperate.
  • If you can nail her best friend, go for it. Deep down, she probably wants to anyway--especially if you're handling the "tragedy" with some strength. You'd be surprised where some wine and a "friend to talk to" can go.
  • In a breakup, there is rarely mutual heartbreak, so cut out the phony bullshit self-consolation. 9 out of 10 times, she dumped you because she found new dick. The other reason is because you were constantly paranoid she was going to find new dick. The sooner you quit lying to yourself, the better off you're going to be.
  • Don't punish your next girlfriend because of the last one. It'll all just happen again. Come to think of it, until you pony up the cash for an engagement ring, they're all future ex-girlfriends anyway, so don't take this bit of advice too seriously. It's that fact that makes up a lot of the How to Talk to Chicks philosophy.
  • The most important thing--and this can't be said enough--get back on the bike as quickly as possible. Don't necessarily commit to the first chick you nail (especially if you go the hooker route), but get back out there.
  • Now...if you're doing the dumping..

  • You probably did it because you thought you could get more pussy. Welcome to a dry spell, dummy. Never jump ship unless you're going to land on another one. She wouldn't, if the shoe were on the other foot.
  • You also probably did it because she was crazy. Whereas this kind of girl will do things you didn't think girls would do, rarely is it worth the hassle. You did good and this article likely has no value to you besides a confirmation that you did the right thing. They'll be more on this in the first edition of the Mailbag Speaks.
  • By far the most common reason you dumped her--she was going to break up with you and you just beat her to it. The biggest dignity saving move in the history of mankind.
  • Good luck fellas. Stay away from pansy advice and you'll never be a pansy.



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